Thursday, May 5, 2011

I am a shoe disaster waiting to happen

I like shoes.  I won't say I like them as much as the next woman because that would be a big fat lie.  The thing I do like about shoes is that there is no shame in sizes.  If you gain a few pounds you don't have to sneak over to the women's section to see if they have anything that fits.  That being said, I don't have as many shoes as the average woman.  That would be because I am shoe impaired.  I try.  I do try, but I fail so often at this shoe thing. 
See these purply pink shoes?  These are my latest purply pink fail.
I walked around the store in them.  well okay, I walked up and down the shoe aisle in them.  Hey, I figured I could still totally rock the high heel thing!  I was going to be awesome at Easter.  Yeah, I can do this!  At home, well they seemed much higher than they did in the store and I couldn't keep the darn things on my feet!  hmm, maybe those athletic socks I had on in the store were a bad idea.
FAIL
daughter number 3 is now the proud owner of these.

Blue suede shoes.  With peep toes!

and bows on the back!  I think it was the bows that sucked me in.
I've had these in the box for about 6 years.  Have I worn them?
one time. 
to church. 
where I sat down the entire time. 

Daughter number 2 wants these.
FAIL, Blue suede fail.

LORD!  PLEASE LORD!!!  TELL ME WHAT I WAS THINKING????
that is a BIG BLACK UGLY FAIL.
No one wants these!

The above ankle boots are my Christmas FAIL.
I think they make my feet look like the fetlocks on a Clydesdale.
sigh, a HORSEY FAIL.  
Daughter number 3 wants these too.

did I mention that these were a FAIL. 
I know I did, but I had to revisit them
because that toe detail still makes me want to think I could rock them.

These, these Birkies are the loves of my lives!  However many lives I have, they are the loves!  
No fail here!!!! 
These live in the place of honor in the closet when they are not on my feet.

not too bad, I can wear them, keep them on my feet and not feel horrible afterwords.  However, they do SOUND like a horse so they are not a total success either.  Still they can live in the closet.


ahhhhh comfy, almost as comfy as my Birkies.  These used to be white, but when they got stained I dyed them with humming bird food to make them pink.  Don't ask I have no idea why, some things you just go with.  These live in the closet.

These are a semi fail.  They are hand me ups from the lovely Miss V.  They are almost comfortable,  no arch support so not a real walking shoe.  High tops by definition are a bit of a pain to put on and take off, but look at the floral lining!  Sigh, I'm a sucker for that sort of thing, so they live in my closet and I pretend I'll wear them some day.

4 comments:

Robin Quilts, etc. said...

Thank you for a good chuckle this morning. Those Birkies sure look familiar. I just got new RED ones, to go with the black, brown and beige, so I'm stylin now, LOL!

Keep Stitchin' said...

I knew you liked shoes, but I had no idea you really liked the girly-gilr types! I've only seen you wear the really comfy ones.
I have a confession: I own very few pairs of shoes. Not that I don't like them, because I really do! My daughter number one and daughter number three are the ones with the shoe fetish. We even have a picture of daughter number 3 in FL at a shoe store taking in a big whiff of the leather and saying "I love that smell!"

paula, the quilter said...

When I was climbing the corporate ladder, I had a lot of girly shoes with heels. Now that I'm in a different environment (and older), my shoes tend toward running, walking or birkies. I did just buy these boots yesterday, btw, for hiking, doncha know.

Susan Freebery said...

If they don't have cork, throw them out! That's my motto. But just so you don't feel alone, I have a whole crate full of hurtful, evil shoes. I only wear my Birks. Life is too short to let friends wear shoes that hurt. So there.